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10 Lessons Men Learn Too Late In Life, According to Marcus Aurelius

Austin Tang — Mon, 03 Nov 2025 13:29:06 +0000

Marcus Aurelius, the philosopher-emperor of Rome, wrote his private reflections in Meditations, offering timeless wisdom on living a meaningful life. Despite ruling one of history’s greatest empires, he grappled with anxiety, frustration, and the search for purpose. His insights reveal profound lessons most men understand only after years of struggle.

1. You Control Only Your Thoughts and Actions

“You have power over your mind — not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” – Marcus Aurelius.

Most men waste years attempting to control circumstances beyond their influence—worrying about others’ opinions, market crashes, or political developments. Marcus understood that your only absolute authority is your own mind. Your response to events, not the events themselves, determines your experience. This distinction between what you can and can’t control is perhaps the most liberating realization a man can have.

2. Your Time is Limited — Stop Living for Tomorrow

“It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live.” – Marcus Aurelius.

The tragedy isn’t that men die, but that they never truly live. They postpone joy and authentic connection until after the next promotion or retirement. Marcus, who faced death daily, recognized that deferring life is ultimate self-betrayal. Each moment is the only moment you possess. Those who learn this late find themselves surrounded by regrets for experiences never had.

3. Your Perception Creates Your Reality

“If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.” – Marcus Aurelius.

External events are neutral. A job loss or betrayal becomes painful only through your interpretation. This doesn’t mean denying genuine hardship, but understanding that between stimulus and response lies your power to choose meaning. Two men experience the same setback, yet one finds devastation, while the other discovers opportunity. Most men realize too late that they’ve been torturing themselves with their stories about reality, not reality itself.

4. Character Matters More Than Reputation

“I have often wondered how it is that every man loves himself more than all the rest of men, but yet sets less value on his own opinion of himself than on the opinion of others.” – Marcus Aurelius.

Men sacrifice integrity daily for others’ approval—taking soul-draining jobs, suppressing authentic beliefs, abandoning values to maintain a favorable image. Character is who you are when no one watches. Reputation is merely what others think they know. One provides genuine self-respect and is within your control. The other is a shadow you’ll never catch.

5. Anger and Resentment Poison Only You

“How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it.” – Marcus Aurelius

Holding anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. The damage you inflict through sustained rage far exceeds whatever harm initially provoked you. When you harbor resentment, you grant your offender permanent residence in your mind. Forgiveness isn’t excusing bad behavior; it’s freeing yourself from carrying hatred. This lesson, learned too late, leaves men looking back on years wasted in anger that accomplished nothing.

6. Your Obstacles Are Your Opportunities

“The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.” – Marcus Aurelius.

Every obstacle contains seeds of equivalent or greater benefit. The challenge blocking your path forces you to develop new capabilities or discover alternative routes. Marcus understood that obstacles aren’t the interruption to your path; they are the path. Men who grasp this early transform setbacks into stepping stones. Those who learn it late realize they spent years avoiding the very difficulties that could have forged their most significant growth.

7. Simplicity Brings Freedom

“Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.” – Marcus Aurelius.

The emperor of Rome, surrounded by unimaginable wealth, understood that happiness requires very little. Modern men chase bigger houses, more impressive titles, fuller schedules. They mistake accumulation for achievement and busyness for importance. Marcus recognized that contentment springs from internal alignment, not external acquisition. Simplicity isn’t deprivation; it’s liberation from the tyranny of endless wanting.

8. Everyone is Fighting Their Own Battle

“When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: The people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous, and surly.”

“They are like this because they cannot distinguish good from evil, while I have recognized the nature of both, the good as beautiful and the bad as ugly, and the nature of the wrongdoer himself as akin to my own, not of the same blood or birth, but the same mind, possessing a share of the divine.”

“Therefore, I cannot be harmed by any of them, as no one can involve me in what is degrading. Nor can I be angry with my kinsman or hate him. For we were born for cooperation, like feet, like hands, like eyelids, like the rows of upper and lower teeth. To work against one another is unnatural. To feel anger at someone or turn one’s back on him—this is to work against him.” – Marcus Aurelius.

Marcus began many days acknowledging that he would encounter difficult people. Rather than being surprised, he prepared with compassion. Every person is fighting battles you know nothing about. This understanding doesn’t excuse poor behavior, but transforms your relationship with it. Judgment becomes curiosity. Frustration becomes empathy. Men who learn this late realize they wasted enormous energy taking things personally that were never about them.

9. Your Thoughts Become Your Life

“Our life is what our thoughts make it.” – Marcus Aurelius.

Life quality is determined by habitual thought quality. Marcus practiced rigorous mental discipline, knowing that unchecked thinking patterns create your experienced reality. A man who thinks in terms of scarcity perceives lack everywhere. One who trains their mind toward gratitude discovers abundance in even the simplest moments. Your thoughts are patterns you’ve reinforced through repetition. Most men don’t realize until late that they’ve been their own worst enemy through decades of toxic self-talk.

10. You Must Die to Ego to Truly Live

“When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive — to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.” – Marcus Aurelius.

The ego builds elaborate defenses, creating a false self that demands validation and fears criticism. Marcus, despite holding absolute power, practiced humility and gratitude. Surrendering your ego isn’t about losing yourself; it’s about finding yourself. When you stop defending your self-image, you become free, actually to live. This is perhaps the hardest lesson and the one most men learn last, if at all.

Conclusion

Marcus Aurelius left us a manual for practical living. His lessons aren’t difficult to understand intellectually, but require humility to accept and discipline to practice daily. These insights can’t be learned from books alone; they must be lived through experience. Yet awareness can save years of unnecessary suffering. The question isn’t whether you’ll encounter these lessons, but whether you’ll recognize them when they appear.

The post 10 Lessons Men Learn Too Late In Life, According to Marcus Aurelius appeared first on Good News!.

Despite scandals, clergy say Eric Adams’ faith partnerships revitalized NYC aid services

Austin Tang — Wed, 08 Oct 2025 16:15:09 +0000

NEW YORK (RNS) — Adams’ legacy among faith communities is marked by an unprecedented partnership that brought congregations to the front lines of city governance in ways no modern mayor had before.

New York City Mayor Eric Adams, center, attends the Church of Pentecost USA Inc., Dec. 22, 2024, in the Bronx. (Photo courtesy of the Mayoral Photography Office)

By Fiona Murphy

October 7, 2025

NEW YORK (RNS) — As New York City Mayor Eric Adams prepares to leave office this fall, after suspending his reelection bid amid outcry over a scandal-ridden mayorship, he leaves behind a new network of faith leaders mobilized by his crisis initiatives and concerned those partnerships will falter under a new administration.

Adams, who was indicted in 2024 on federal charges of wire fraud, bribery and conspiracy tied to campaign fundraising, decided not to run in the Democratic primary in June, choosing to run in the general election as an independent candidate instead. But faced with the popular Democratic candidate, Zohran Mamdani, and the familiar face of former New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo, Adams announced on Sept. 28 that he would not seek reelection, after a Quinnipiac poll showed his approval rating was among the lowest for a New York City mayor in recent decades.

Despite his unpopularity with many New Yorkers, Adams’ legacy among faith communities is marked by an unprecedented partnership that brought small and often overlooked congregations to the front lines of city governance in ways no modern mayor had before.

New York City Mayor Eric Adams, center right, meets with Jewish community leaders and walks through local businesses in Borough Park ahead of the upcoming Jewish High Holidays on Sept. 15, 2025. (Photo by Michael Appleton/Mayoral Photography Office)

“I think we were looking to make sure that the faith-based community had direct access to New York City resources,” Monrose said. “Adams wanted to make sure that the faith community is consistently on his radar, that he would be in touch with them, and our office would continue to maintain relationships.”

Monrose turned that mission into a sustained network of outreach. Through the OFBCP, members of different faith communities across New York’s five boroughs were invited to monthly meetings with city commissioners to discuss services such as food pantries, clothing drives and issues that affected their small congregations. Monrose manages a WhatsApp group with hundreds of contacts he’s gathered over his years as a pastor in Brooklyn, along with an email list that sends out announcements several times a week about upcoming events sponsored by his office.

“There are some rooms that I have been in that I would never have been in if it wasn’t for Eric Adams,” said Latricia Davis, the outreach ministry pastor at the Community Church of Christ in Jamaica, Queens. “The emails, the texts and the response from his office was unbelievable. I’m getting emotional about it because he cared about us.”

The office’s work evolved into citywide initiatives. In 2023, it launched the faith-based shelter program, mobilizing churches, mosques and synagogues to house asylum-seekers during the city’s migrant crisis by providing renovations and resources to congregations citywide.

“Mayor Adams was willing to work with congregations as a way of addressing social safety net needs in the city that has been so far unique,” said Peter Gudaitis, executive director of New York Disaster Interfaith Services, or NYDIS, a nonprofit that has provided disaster relief and faith-community recovery services that worked closely with the OFBCP to coordinate and activate the faith-based shelter program.

Muslims and non-Muslim migrants eat their meals together during an iftar, the sunset meal when Muslims break their fast in the holy month of Ramadan, at the migrant shelter on Randall’s Island, on April 9, 2024, in New York. (AP Photo/Andres Kudacki)

In June 2023, as thousands of migrants arrived in New York City, the city’s homeless shelters and hotel voucher program were overwhelmed. With asylum-seekers lining the streets and criticism mounting over the city’s slow response, Adams, through the OFBCP, began turning to houses of worship for help.

Joseph Clemmons, pastor of the Historic First Church of God in Christ in Brooklyn, had his church transformed. Funding from the city supported NYDIS in helping construct renovations, including the installation of six showers, and round-the-clock volunteers to house 40 to 50 migrants per night. Clemmons’ congregation did this from April 2024 to June of this year.

“That was Mayor Adams’ way of saying, I trust churches more than I do developers to do what’s right and to care,” Clemmons said. “I’ll never forget that.”

Over the span of two years, the program sheltered nearly 200,000 people in 21 houses of worship, relying on more than 300 volunteers who contributed thousands of hours of work. For many faith communities, the program was viewed as the city affirming their moral mission.

“Those people needed real help, and this is part of our faith,” said Muhammad Shahidullah, imam and director of the nonprofit Dawah USA, which served as a “waiting center” for asylum-seekers, hosting guests for short stays in the evenings from December 2023 to May 2024. Beyond housing, Shahidullah said Adams will also be remembered in the Muslim community for expanding visibility and inclusion.

New York City Mayor Eric Adams speaks during an interfaith breakfast event in New York, Jan. 30, 2025. (AP Photo/Seth Wenig)

“He started the Friday Muslim prayer in the City Hall,” Shahidullah said, in reference to Adams’ office embrace of the adhan, or the Muslim call to prayer, across the city. “This was the first time in history that we were given permission, under his leadership. Also, the halal food is provided in public schools. This process started a long time ago, but in this term, they actually executed it,” Shahidullah said.

In December 2022, Adams formally expanded halal food access in schools citywide as part of his “Cafeteria Enhancement Experience” initiative. The faith-based shelter program has since paused, Monrose said, as the flow of new migrants slowed.

Since last winter, Adams’ rhetoric on immigration has become more critical, increasingly aligning with President Donald Trump’s hard-line anti-immigration stance. Some New Yorkers questioned whether Adams’ alignment with Trump’s policies was an attempt to secure a pardon on his federal corruption charges — charges that were ultimately dismissed after the Trump administration pressured the Justice Department. Adams has denied any connection between his policy positions and the case’s outcome.

“I do wish Mayor Adams had been able to stand up more strongly to the Trump administration on these issues,” Gudaitis said. “But it’s hard. I mean, could you imagine what New York City would be like if ICE was doing here, what they’re doing in D.C. and Chicago? I mean, it really worries me.”

While Adams’ evolving immigration stance divided voters, faith leaders say his legacy will be defined less by politics and more by partnership, especially his efforts to bring clergy into the city’s work on public safety.

New York City Mayor Eric Adams, center, attends midnight Mass at St. Patrick’s Cathedral, Dec. 25, 2024, in the Manhattan borough of New York. (Photo courtesy of the Mayoral Photography Office)

One of the last major initiatives Adams will be remembered for is the Citywide Clergy Collective, launched in January 2024 with a $1.5 million city grant and agency partners including the New York Police Department. The program trains clergy to intervene after shootings, mediating tensions, supporting families and organizing funerals and vigils, while doing ongoing “triage” to prevent violent retaliation within communities.

Since joining the initiative, Bishop Chantel Wright, pastor of Reach Covenant Ministries International, a church-led community organization in Harlem, a neighborhood with one of the highest rates of gun violence in the city, her community has seen real change.

“What has happened for us is that there have been no killings,” she said. “Now, the older ladies in our community, they feel safe at night. They’re able to walk out and be in the community without ducking stray bullets.”

The last time her group assisted a family after a murder was last spring. Through the collective, Wright helped relocate the victim’s family, paying for transportation and funeral costs.

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The collective’s model has since been adopted beyond New York. Monrose has held conferences about the program in Pittsburgh and helped establish an office of violence prevention in his hometown in the U.S. Virgin Islands. He has also trained pastors in St. Lucia and in Belize. In New York, the collective’s funding has covered meals for bereaved families and clergy-run after-school programs to keep youth engaged.

“I just pray that the seed has been placed in the ground through the faith-based community,” Wright said. “I pray that whoever comes into office has enough wisdom not to dismantle it. It’s their secret weapon.”

Looking ahead, Monrose said he sees Adams’ legacy with faith communities as just the beginning. “I have never read a good book with only one chapter,” Monrose said. “I’m glad that I have the opportunity to be able to be a trendsetter when it comes to how cities and government work with clergy.”

Some faith leaders remain uncertain about the next batch of candidates. “The current candidates, I don’t work with them,” said Michelle Davis Levy, who goes by Rev. Zoya, from the Illuminating Center of God in Brooklyn. “I haven’t seen them in my neighborhood, and that’s an important point for me, to be forward facing a candidate, to be forward facing with the community they’re going to serve.”

Mamdani, a progressive Muslim and current state assemblyman, and Cuomo, running as an independent, have begun courting faith leaders in different ways. On Oct. 1, Mamdani’s campaign announced it will be backed by Defend and Advance, a new Muslim American super PAC, which has launched a five-week effort to mobilize the city’s nearly 388,000 registered Muslim voters ahead of the election. The Mamdani and Cuomo campaigns did not respond to request for comment.

Still, some clergy say they remain hopeful that the network Adams built will outlast his time in office.

“We made this coalition of faith-based organizations and community organizations, and we’re in partnership, and I don’t believe that’s going to go away just because Adams is no longer going to be our mayor,” Davis said. “I believe that they will continue to prosper and bear good fruit, no matter what.”

The post Despite scandals, clergy say Eric Adams’ faith partnerships revitalized NYC aid services appeared first on Good News!.

Thought of the Day…10/21/22

Austin Tang — Fri, 21 Oct 2022 19:27:01 +0000

HOPE

is being able

to see that

there is a

LIGHT

despite all

the darkness

#hope #thoughtoftheday #beingable #light #see #despite #dark

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Invitation to this year’s Pachamama Alliance GlobalGathering/Luncheon (bring your own!) On-line – Nov. 19

Austin Tang — Mon, 02 Nov 2020 15:29:47 +0000

Dear Friends and Lovers of the Earth,

Sending again for those who didn’t see this but are interested and haven’t yet registered! https://landing.pachamama.org/gathering There will be a pull-down menu there with my name, so our Pachamama folks can register you at “my virtual table”!

We are at that time of year of harvest and celebration even despite the hardships and stresses we have all experienced in our Mother Earth being insulted by policies to promote further drilling, by the rolling back of clean water and air policies, the evisceration of the EPA, serious encroachments on social, political and economic injustice and by the profound disregard for sentient life over these past several years.

Despite and because of all of this, we have doubled-down in our commitment to set things aright, and one of our ways of doing that, and gaining sustenance from other, like-minded, like-hearted people, is our relationship to each other of course and with the Pachamama Alliance who has been championing the cause of indigenous people in the Amazon Rainforest, the Rainforest itself, and justice of every sort across the planet.

Please watch this inspiring, 1-minute video: https://pachamama.wistia.com/medias/qgcg0db4di

And then register for our Virtual Luncheon this year right here—I’d love to have you. https://landing.pachamama.org/gathering

Because this year’s gathering is virtual, not just in NYC, I am inviting people who wouldn’t otherwise be able to attend, for an even bigger, more inclusive & Global turnout.

Positive Influences: Pachamama Alliance & The Tibet House – A Better World

And needless to say, I hope everyone receiving this has voted or is poised to. We need a landslide!

If you would, please send me an email to let me know if you’ve signed up to attend.

Looking forward to seeing you soon!

Mitchell

Mitchell J. Rabin, M.A., L.AC.
CEO, A Better World Foundation

Creative Consulting, Stress Management
Host & Producer, A Better World Radio & TV
212 420-0800
www.abetterworld.tv www.mitchellrabin.com
http://www.youtube.com/abetterworldtv

www.huffingtonpost.com/mitchell-j-rabin

www.abetterworld.store

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.” Margaret Mead

“You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.” Buckminster Fuller

“It always seems impossible until it’s done.” Nelson Mandela

“When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace.” Jimi Hendrix

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