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Imagine! Comedians actually got through a routine without using the “F” word.

WHILE JEWISH PEOPLE MAKE UP ABOUT 2% OF THE U.S. POPULATION, THERE WAS A TIME WHEN THEY MADE UP 50% OF THE FAMOUS COMEDIANS

You may remember the old Jewish Comics:

Shecky Greene, Red Buttons, Totie Fields, Joey Bishop, Milton Berle, Jan Murray, Danny Kaye, Henny Youngman, Buddy Hackett, Sid Caesar, Groucho Marx, Jackie Mason, Woody Allen, Lenny Bruce, George Burns, Allan Sherman, Jerry Lewis, Carl Reiner, Shelley Berman, Gene Wilder, George Jessel, Alan King, Mel Brooks, Phil Silvers, Jack Carter, Rodney Dangerfield, Don Rickles, Jack Benny, Sid Caesar, and so many others.

There was not one single swear word in their comedy. Here are a few examples:

* I just got back from a pleasure trip.
I took my mother-in-law to the airport.

* I’ve been in love with the same woman for 49 years!
If my wife ever finds out, she’ll kill me!

* What are three words a woman never wants to hear when she’s making love?
“Honey, I’m home!”

* Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won’t be reporting it.
The thief spends less than my wife did.

* We always hold hands.
If I let go, she shops.

* My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night.
Only this time I stayed in the bathroom and cried.

* My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed.
My wife called it the Dead Sea.

* She was at the beauty shop for two hours.
That was only for the estimate.

* She got a mudpack and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off.

* The Doctor gave a man six months to live.
The man couldn’t pay his bill, so the doctor gave him another six months.

* The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, “Mrs. Cohen, your check came back.”
Mrs. Cohen answered, “So did my arthritis!”

* Doctor: “You’ll live to be 60!”
Patient: “I am 60!”
Doctor: “See! What did I tell you?”

* Patient: “I have a ringing in my ears.”
Doctor: “Don’t answer it!”

* A drunk was in front of a judge.
The judge says, “You’ve been brought here for drinking.”
The drunk says “Okay, let’s get started.”

* Why do Jewish divorces cost so much?
They’re worth it.

* The Harvard School of Medicine did a study of why Jewish women like Chinese food so much. The study revealed that this is due to the fact that Won Ton spelled backward is Not Now.

*There is a big controversy on the Jewish view of when life begins.
In Jewish tradition, the fetus is not considered viable until it graduates from medical school.

Q: Why don’t Jewish mothers drink?

A: Alcohol interferes with their suffering.

Q: Why do Jewish mothers make great parole officers?
A: They never let anyone finish a sentence!

A man called his mother in Florida, “Mom, how are you?”
“Not too good,” said the mother. “I’ve been very weak.”
The son said, “Why are you so weak?”
She said, “Because I haven’t eaten in 38 days.”
The son said, “That’s terrible. Why haven’t you eaten in 38 days?”
The mother answered, “Because I didn’t want my mouth to be filled with food if you should call.”

A Jewish boy comes home from school and tells his mother he has a part in the play.
She asks, “What part is it?”
The boy says, “I play the part of the Jewish husband.”
The mother scowls and says, “Go back and tell the teacher you want a speaking part.”

Q: How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: (Sigh) “Don’t bother. I’ll sit in the dark. I don’t want to be a nuisance to anybody.”

Did you hear about the bum who walked up to a Jewish mother on the street and said, “Lady, I haven’t eaten in three days.”
“Force yourself,” she replied.

Q: What’s the difference between a Rottweiler and a Jewish mother?
A: Eventually, the Rottweiler lets go.

Q: Why are Jewish men circumcised?
A: Because Jewish women don’t like anything that isn’t 20% off.

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Ada is a violin virtuoso who has created her own unique genre, combining her vocal talents, violin mastery and songwriting prowess for an outstanding pop melding. Her shows are always a spectacular display of musicianship by Ada and her band of Berklee College of Music graduates.

The post Ada Pasternak appear at the Bottom Line December 1st, 9PM YAYYYYYYYYYY appeared first on Good News!.

VENICE BEACH the musical

A contemporary musical with various styles of music and dance from hip hop
and rock to standard musical theater about American college graduates trying
to survive in the post-graduate world between 2008 and 2012, a time of
economic recession and high unemployment. Jesse, a native Californian, is
trying to convince three of his mid-western fraternity brothers, Bradley,
Michael, and Steven, to move with him to Venice, California, promise land of
sun, surf, hot girls in bikinis, and plenty of jobs. During their graduation
ceremony at Ohio State University, they express their doubts and concerns
about what’s next after college. At the celebration party that night in
their favorite campus bar, The Stadium Pub, they shake off their fears and
agree to go, encouraged by Joe the Barman to get out of Ohio and pursue
their dreams. They drive together to California in Jesse’s car, where they
lease a beach house in Venice. The boys initially try to keep the college
party lifestyle going. They adopt a new favorite bar, the Sidewalk Café,
where Joe the Barman once again presides. Gradually, however, they face all
the challenges of the adult world, no longer cradled in college campus life,
nor funded and cared for by parents. They must make tough choices regarding
starting their careers, pursuing relationships, making rent, paying off
student loans, discovering self-identity, and ultimately, dealing with
disillusionment when their high expectations, and those of their parents,
don’t meet reality as they learn that success and happiness isn’t always
rewarded simply for individual effort.

Jesse, handsome and charismatic, immediately adopts a player life style
and seems to get whatever he wants. He lands a good job at Merril-Lynch, but
quietly struggles with the heartbreaking loss of his failed writer/artist
father from suicide during his junior year. He also finds that his job in
finance holds no interest for him, nor has he any real aptitude for it at
heart, he’s an actor/singer and a writer himself. He is also frustrated with
his mother, Kay, who, though she loves him dearly, is unintentionally
encroaching on his space in Venice, for she herself moves there in her
transition out of grief, as she strives to reclaim the lost years of her
youth because of marrying so young. Bradley finds an entry level job at
Coldwell Banker real estate, and begins guiltily to enjoy his temporary
freedom from Emily, his fiancé who must stay in Ohio to finish her senior
year. From a distance, she expresses her anquish over his absence, for she
has always placed her music and singing aspirations second to Bradley’s
plans for their future. She believes him when he says he will only be gone
for the summer, but when he informs her he wants to stay longer, she is
heartbroken. Michael, a talented architect and former fraternity president,
is hired at Cunningham, a prestigious architecture firm, and begins to
pursue Sarah, his hard-driving, slightly older project manager. He
gradually discovers he doesn’t like his work, nor does he feel comfortable
with Sarah. Ultimately, he meets Kenny, a gay art teacher and yogi, who
helps him to -come out- and re-discover his love for painting. Steven, a
tough, Irish Catholic from the working class farming community of
Youngstown, also majored in architecture, but is unable to get hired, so he
begins waiting tables to pay his portion of the rent. He sees Marika, a
beautiful Eur-Asian yoga instructor with several tattoos, and joins her yoga
class on the beach. They begin to date, and through her influence, he
discovers a deep interest in yoga and a desire to be health conscious, all
the while covering himself in tattoos. Marika has always distrusted men due
to her father’s early abandonment, but her unlikely relationship with Steven
becomes, surprisingly, the most stable one of the group. Things change for
Jesse when he reconnects with an old musical theater friend and high school
prom date, Rose, now an eclectic, Bard educated woman living in Mexico.
Jesse begins to fall in love again, but Rose’s fierce independence and
desire to explore the world causes her to avoid his romantic advances,
though not necessarily his sexual ones. The Boys fun Venice Beach life
begins to unravel during a crazy, alcohol and drug-filled Halloween party,
where Bradley cheats on Emily with Sarah. Michael confronts Bradley over his
disloyalty, and Bradley accidently –outs- him as a defense for his actions.
As winter 2009 arrives, the boys see that the party is over and so they
decide to go their separate ways. Bradley returns to Ohio but Emily refuses
to take him back. She now has plans to go to NY and attend graduate school
for music. In May 2009, as they are all moving out of the Venice Beach
house, Bradley, shattered by losing Emily, as well as his job at Coldwell
Banker, and facing the prospect of moving back in with his parents in Ohio,
attempts to take his own life with pills. Jesse is shaken by his friend’s
act, especially since the experience of his father’s suicide is still so
painful. Jesse has also been let go at Merrill Lynch, which is downsizing.
When Rose leaves for Africa to work for the Peace Corps for two years, it
becomes clear that they will remain -just friends- and nothing more. She
says goodbye to him on Venice Beach, leaving him alone, loveless, jobless,
hopeless, wondering what he’s going to do. At that moment, his father
appears to him (or is it simply Jesse’s subconscious) to talk with him he
gives him the advice and guidance he’s been needing for some time.

One year later, June 2010, Jesse moves to New York to reclaim the acting and
singing aspirations he once had and then temporarily abandoned. Bradley is
back in Ohio, Steven is living with Marika in Venice and Michael with
Kenny in West Hollywood. Having kept in touch with Emily over the years,
Jesse responds to her facebok invitation to go and see her sing a set at The
Bitter End club in N.Y. She has found her voice, and is pursuing her singing
career. At the club, Jesse finds himself attracted to her, and after the
show, they lament about how things were when they were kids, how they were
led to believe by everyone that they were special, that fate had great
things in store for them, but they now know that life is much more
complicated than that. The Bitter End seamlessly transforms into the
Sidewalk Café back in Venice Beach where they join the old gang who have all
come together again. Only now, it is two years later, June 2012, and The
Boys, Kenny, Marika have come together for Jesse and Emily’s wedding to
occur on Venice Beach the following day. Joe the Pastor officiates the
wedding. He urges them to enjoy life and love while they can, but work to
make it last. At the ceremony, The Boys once again express their angst over
what’s next, for they still don’t know for sure what the future holds for
them. But they have come to understand that they must simply continue on
doing the best they can to learn, to live, to love, to work, and to grow.

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Richard E. Robitaille, EdD, Assistant Vice President, Berkeley College Office of Military and Veterans Affairs (OMVA), acknowledged this growth at a special event held to celebrate these accomplishments. The recognition dinner and celebration also recognized a number of Berkeley College military and veteran students who participated in the National Library of Congress Veterans History Project. Two Class of 2014 veteran graduates, Maja Johnson and Melissa Stubblefield, were on hand to share in the excitement, and speak about their careers and college journeys.

Maja Johnson of San Jose, CA, a veteran of the U.S. Army, earned her BS degree in Health Services Management from Berkeley College. She began her required internship at the University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey, and finished it at Berkeley in the Office of Military and Veterans Affairs. She will begin earning her Master’s degree in Social Work at Rutgers University in Fall 2014.

Melissa Stubblefield of Louisville, KY, a veteran of the U.S. Marine Corps, earned her BA degree in Management at Berkeley College. She completed her required internship at the nonprofit organization Who Am I Ministries, Inc. She also owns her own consulting and life coaching business. Ms. Stubblefield plans on attending Mercy College and earning a Master’s degree in Organizational Leadership.

BC: How did your military experience help you as a college student?

MJ: As veterans we experience things differently. Our maturity level is different. The military provided me with a sense of accomplishment. Without the military I would not have been ready to come back to school.

MS: My military experience gave me an upper hand as a college student. I had maturity and leadership skills. I could be a team leader, focus on one thing at a time and go on. I could manage my time. I am not sure I would have been able to push ahead without that experience.

BC: What was your experience at Berkeley College like?

MJ: It was nice to know that there were other students my age (adult students) earning their degrees. My professors were great. Some were hard. Now I appreciate that. I started the military club, which was supported by the college. My hard work is being recognized as I have been placed in a position that is just what I want to do. Berkeley helped me accomplish things I never thought a school would.

MS: I had a great experience at Berkeley, both with the staff and the students. There had been a lot of trauma being in the military. We got out; some got hurt; some died. Communication was the key. At Berkeley College I had open dialogue; they were there to help me. I was grieving so much and would not have been able to graduate without the support of Berkeley College staff and students.

BC: What characteristic about earning your undergraduate degree at Berkeley College benefitted you the most?

MJ: I learned how to moderate myself, the good and the bad. Even though I procrastinated, putting a 25-page paper together in the end helped put things in perspective.

MS: The Office of Military and Veterans Affairs played one of the biggest roles in my time at Berkeley. They understand what life is like for veterans, starting school after having served our country … they were my saving grace.

BC: What made you decide to go on and enroll in a Master’s degree program?

MJ: Honestly, when I first entered Berkeley College, I thought I would just get an Associate’s degree. But for some jobs you need a Bachelor’s, and for others you need a Master’s. Getting a Master’s degree will open my horizons.

MS: The degree I am seeking in Organizational Leadership will take me far. I want to hone in on leadership and combine it with my interest in the nonprofit world. It will make me more competitive.

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