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The Knot: Experts Say These Are the Only 8 Marriage Tips Couples Need

Austin Tang — Wed, 24 Jan 2024 21:25:13 +0000

Consider these the golden rules.

It goes without saying: Deciding to get married is a huge deal, and there’s no doubt you’d only enter into that commitment with deep love and dedication. Just like any relationship, though—and perhaps more so—you’ll experience ups and downs. So what’s the secret to a happy marriage? And FYI, it’s not about never arguing or taking wow-worthy vacations every year.

Happiness in marriage is a journey that brings many of its own challenges, in addition to the joyous and profound love shared between two people. We asked relationship experts to share their “golden rules” for how to maintain a happy marriage that’ll withstand the test of time.

Meet the Experts:

Dr. Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT is the best-selling author of In Each Other’s Care
Naomi Angoff Chedd, LMHC is a licensed mental health counselor with Counslr
Leanna Stockard, LMFT is a licensed marriage and family therapist at LifeStance Health
Jaki Silver, LMSW is a licensed master social worker based in New York City.

In this article:

What Is a “Happy Marriage?”

A happy marriage is one where both parties feel fulfilled, appreciated and united as a team taking on life and the world together. There’s an unwavering sense of commitment to each other (even through life’s inevitable trials and difficult conversations), as well as a mutual respect, admiration and desire for the other to feel happy and seen.

112 Happy Anniversary Quotes That Celebrate Love

Being happily married requires both people to exercise deep trust and remain patient with one another. It requires not only listening, but truly hearing what the other person says and feels. It also means taking time to acknowledge our own faults, and to continue striving toward being a better version of ourselves so we can keep showing up for our partner in meaningful ways.

The Best Tips for a Happy Marriage, Hands-Down

We spoke with several relationship experts, including a psychiatrist and licensed counselors and therapists, who have worked with many couples over their careers. Through their work, they’ve been able to pinpoint some of the key steps to a happy marriage.

1. Make Your Relationship Your #1 Priority

Above anything else—work, friendships, hobbies—your relationship must always claim the number one spot in your priority list. “This simple but all-inclusive idea protects the two of you from the outside world and becomes a social contract between the two of you to serve each other above and beyond all else,” says Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT.

“That does not mean that your work, children or others are given short shrift. This principle of putting the relationship first protects the two of you from each other and ensures a union that can last a lifetime.”

2. Get Reallyyy Great at Communicating

You’ve likely heard this advice a million times—but have you processed what it truly means? It doesn’t simply imply talking; but involves hearing, processing and conveying our thoughts in a way that’s healthy, helpful and conducive. Yes, this can be difficult, particularly in challenging conversations or scenarios where one person is feeling hurt or unseen.

“Learn how to express your dissatisfaction, frustration or downright anger in a way that can lead to a solution,” urges Naomi Angoff Chedd, LMHC. “The point is not to make your spouse feel bad. The point is to fix what’s broken, to better understand and respond to each other’s needs and to enhance and enrich both your lives.”

3. Get to Know Yourself

Record scratch—wait, what? Yup, getting to know who you are can make a huge difference in the quality of your relationships, including the one with your life partner.

“Getting to know yourself is an important element of helping your partner get to know you,” explains Jaki Silver, LMSW. “I often hear patients expressing things like, ‘They just don’t get me,’ or ‘They don’t understand what I need.’ This can lead to distress and uncertainty of the durability of the relationship.”

When Silver hears this, she asks her patients to get specific: What’s a need of theirs that they want their partner to understand? And if they’re unable to communicate this clearly, it’s an indication they may not understand themselves or be able to share their feelings with their partner.

“It’s only through understanding ourselves, our values, our goals and our needs that we can begin to find ways to express them effectively,” Silver says. “This allows our partner to work with us in creating their role in meeting our needs and the development of solutions together.”

4. Keep Dating

Just because the ink is dried on your marriage certificate doesn’t mean the courting phase has to be over. Remaining curious about your partner and continuing to date them can make for a very happy marriage, according to experts.

“Ultimately, the decision to continue to date your partner shows your investment in them and helps keep the relationship alive,” explains Leanna Stockard, LMFT. “It makes them feel valued as a human being, and shows that you want to continue to grow and evolve with them through all of life’s changes [and] to continue to have fun adventures.”

5. Use a Filter

No, not that kind of filter! The kind of filter you use before saying whatever’s on your mind. As the saying goes, you can’t put squeezed toothpaste back in a tube, and you can’t take back words that have been spoken. Be intentional about the way you communicate versus being reactive or impulsive.

“It is inevitable that anger and resentment may surface at times—and many problems are worth arguing about,” says Chedd. “But you don’t have to say everything that is on your mind, especially when your emotions are at a fever pitch.”

“Wait 10 minutes or wait an hour. Even sleep on it,” Chedd suggests. “And if it still bothers you and seems worth a conversation, bring it up in a calm, kind-spirited [manner] rather than in an accusing way.”

6. Always Have Your Partner’s Back

“What’s mine is yours” is a common saying we associate with finances and belongings, but it also extends to our partner’s well-being and heart: You two are a partnership, so protect each other and always stand up for the other.

“You are first and foremost a survival team where you both protect each other from the slings and arrows of life. You are both staunch defenders of each other at all times,” says Dr. Tatkin. “Having each other’s backs—even when in disagreement with the other—is one of the strongest attachment values we can express.”

7. Try to Surprise Each Other

It’s so easy to fall into the monotony of daily routines—but where’s the fun in doing that for 50 years? Predictability is important to help us feel secure and comfortable, but also try to spice things up every once in a while to keep that spark ablaze.

“Bring home a big bouquet of flowers or a gigantic balloon for no reason. Take your spouse on a ‘mystery’ ride to a little restaurant or to look at a breathtaking view. Declare a mental health day and take the day off together,” Chedd suggests.

“Do whatever helps you connect and remember why you are right here, right now, with the right person.”

8. Learn Your Partner’s Love Language

The phrase “treat others the way you want to be treated,” is a golden standard, but what if that looked a bit different? Treating others the way they want to be treated is a big key to a happy marriage. You can do that by understanding what your partner’s love language is.

“You may realize that the way you are showing your partner that you love and care about them is not resonating with your partner the way you are intending,” Stockard says.

“Learning how to speak each other’s love languages helps you realize signs for compassion and caring that we may have otherwise missed, or that we did not realize had a much deeper meaning than what we believed at the time.”

Be it through emotional intimacy, quality time or check-ins throughout the day, learn what specific acts of love and intimacy your partner needs to feel secure and—you guessed it—happy in your marriage.

The post The Knot: Experts Say These Are the Only 8 Marriage Tips Couples Need appeared first on Good News!.

FAMILY HOLIDAY TRAVEL SURVIVAL GUIDE: INSIDER TIPS FOR STRESS FREE AND SANITY SAVING TRAVELS!!! mc HOLIDAY FAMILY TRAVEL EXPERT: TRISH McDERMOTT, click for video n podcast…

admin — Fri, 10 Nov 2017 18:19:24 +0000

http://goodnewsplanet.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/trish_real_1.mp3
FAMILY HOLIDAY TRAVEL SURVIVAL GUIDE: INSIDER TIPS FOR STRESS FREE AND SANITY SAVING TRAVELS!!!

HOLIDAY FAMILY TRAVEL EXPERT: TRISH McDERMOTT

It’s no secret that traveling with children, and especially with babies, during the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays can be exhausting and incredibly stressful. Just under 50 million Americans will be traveling for Thanksgiving this month. Families love to go home for the holidays! For traveling families, crowded airports, unwieldly baggage, long flights with cranky little ones, and hotels and vacation rentals that don’t always meet their very basic needs can be incredibly stressful.

Nationally recognized family travel expert, and co-founder of Babierge (baby + concierge), Trish McDermott, comes to the rescue. Trish will provide insider family travel tips to help you and yours overcome the challenges of holiday season travel. She will discuss everything from how to book kid-friendly accommodations, why it’s so much easier to rent baby gear (and even a Christmas tree or Menorah) at your destination than it is to lug it through the airport, how to easily and quickly get your family through the TSA checkpoint, how to survive a long flight with little ones, and how to guarantee your baby will sleep well at your vacation destination After all, holiday family travel should be a restful and relaxing vacation for everyone—even parents!

Some of the Family Holiday Travel Tips Travel Trish McDermott offers are:

• Where to stay: Book hotels and vacation rentals that meet basic baby and toddler needs. Safe, warm, quiet, equipped with a bathtub, easy access to food and diapers at a nearby store and located near a local park or play structure (or sledding hill). Bonus points if the hotel offers kid-friendly holiday activites.

• What not to pack: The lighter you pack, the easier you travel. Aim to fly with a carry-on only. Use a baby equipment rental company like Babierge to rent gear like cribs, strollers, car seats, high chairs and toys which can be delivered to your hotel or vacation rental. You can even have a pre-lit Christmas tree and stockings for your firecplace delivered.

• Christmas Gifts: Order everything online and have your Christmas gifts shipped directly to your location. Save the boxes to ship them home too.

• Baby Jet Lag: A week before you travel begin to gradually adjust your baby’s naptime and bedtime to move closer to your destination time zone. Consider a flight that takes off right around baby’s bedtime too.

• Avoid TSA Meltdowns:
1. Ask to be put in a special line for families (this often moves you to the front of the line).
2. Dress everyone in metal-free clothing and older children in shoes that are easy to remove and put back on. Children under 12 can wear their shoes during screening.
3. Explain security procedures and their purpose to your children in advance.
4. If you are holding a toddler when you go through screening and the alarm beeps, both you and your little one are subject to search. If your toddler can walk, encourage her to walk through on her own.
5. You can bring formula, breast milk and juice in greater than 3.4 ounce bottles through screening. Inform the TSA officer you are carrying them in advance and remove them from your carry-on bag for separate screening. They might get tested for explosives though. Ice packs are OK too.
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• Survive Long Flights:
1. Try to sit near the front of the plane—it’s a quieter ride.
2. Dress your children in comfortable AND adorable clothing. Your fellow passengers will forgive super cute children for noisiness or other minor misbehaving.
3. Bring one-day’s-worth of baby food, other snacks, drinks and a change of clothing for each child and yourself—holiday flight delays are always a possibility.
4. Quiet toys keep everyone happy.
5. Your airplane tray table is a petri dish of disgusting germs. Bring a tray table cover and keep it covered during the entire flight.
• Get Some Sleep: When babies sleep well, everyone gets to rest and recharge on vacation. Do your best to replicate your baby’s and toddler’s sleep environment at home. Use a full-size wooden crib and bring the sheet your baby last slept on at home. (Don’t wash it.) This way while he may be in a new environment, his sheet smells and feels like home to him.

• Leverage The Collaborative Economy: Millennial parents will look to the sharing economy for much of their holiday travel this year. Leave the family dog with a loving family via Rover, rather than at a kennel, stay at a kid-friendly rental via Airbnb or Kid & Coe, have your car seats delivered right to the airport via Babierge and then grab a Lyft to get to your hotel.

Trish McDermott Bio

Trish McDermott is an experienced radio and television spokesperson, having honed her skills as a co-founder of Match.com and the site’s global spokesperson for ten years. She has appeared on The Today Show, 60 Minutes, NPR, Nightline and just about every radio and television program that aired segments on dating, romance and the Internet during her decade at Match.. Trish was talent for Match.com’s radio commercials and featured in onboard television program for Princess Cruise’s “Romance Department.” Now as Co-founder of the world’s largest baby gear rental platform Babierge (baby + concierge) at www.babierge.com, McDermott has developed a keen expertise about, and can speak articulately to, the pain points of family travel and how the collaborative economy is addressing them. Babierge is helping families travel to over 100 destinations in the US and Canada and opening new destinations weekly.

The post FAMILY HOLIDAY TRAVEL SURVIVAL GUIDE: INSIDER TIPS FOR STRESS FREE AND SANITY SAVING TRAVELS!!! mc HOLIDAY FAMILY TRAVEL EXPERT: TRISH McDERMOTT, click for video n podcast… appeared first on Good News!.

Learning Vacations Offer More Than Just an Escape

admin — Tue, 08 Jul 2014 14:29:07 +0000

Omega’s Theme Weeks Deliver Something for Everyone

A growing trend in travel, learning vacations pair fun getaways with educational opportunities that appeal to those who want more than just downtime. Omega Institute, a hub for lifelong learning in New York’s Hudson Valley, offers more than 325 varied opportunities, including three distinct theme weeks on its 200-acre Rhinebeck campus. Omega Arts Week, Retreat Week, and Family Week are three of the most popular programs and include a wide range of classes to choose from.

“By dedicating specific weeks on the campus to each of these areas, Omega creates a unique environment where people not only relax and have fun, but also meet others who are also interested in exploring new things,” said Carla Goldstein, chief external affairs officer at Omega.

Omega Arts Week, July, 6–11: During Omega Arts Week, a popular program for the past 20 years, the campus comes alive with music, dance, visual and written arts, and trapeze. Accomplished and budding artists, and creative spirits immerse themselves in their art, communing at meal times and showcasing their work at evening gatherings. Participants choose from more than 10 workshops spanning the arts, including photography, painting, trapeze, drumming and dance, screenwriting, rustic furniture making, and more. This year’s Arts Week also offers a special tribute to Babatunde Olatunji, a world-renowned Nigerian drummer who brought African drumming and dance to the United States. Olatunji was a perennial favorite at Omega, and his legacy has endured.

Omega Retreat Week, July 13–18: Omega Retreat Week brings together a group of extraordinary teachers from many traditions to add breadth and depth to the spiritual path. Retreats range from inward contemplation to outward celebration, all equally sacred. Participants choose from nine workshops, such as Relax & Write® with Maia Danziger, Awakening Your Authentic Soul Signature with Panache Desai, Qigong Empowerments with Robert Peng, A Yoga and Meditation Retreat with James Higgins, and more.

Omega Family Week, August 3–8: Omega Family Week offers parents and kids a unique balance of time together and time spent apart in age-appropriate workshops. Adults choose from workshops like The Story You Have to Tell with Cheryl Strayed, Tennis Inside the Zone with Rob Polishook, Afro Flow Yoga with Leslie Salmon Jones and Jeff W. Jones, and more. Workshops for kids include Super Soccer Stars Camp, Beyond Rock, RoboFun Stop-Motion Animation, and more.

To learn more or to register, please visit eOmega.org, or call 800.944.1001. A limited number of media passes are available. To apply for a media pass, visit eOmega.org/press. Follow Omega on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, LinkedIn and Instagram.

About Omega Institute for Holistic Studies

Founded in 1977, Omega Institute for Holistic Studies is the nation’s most trusted source for wellness and personal growth. As a nonprofit organization, Omega offers diverse and innovative educational experiences that inspire an integrated approach to personal and social change. Located on 200 acres in the beautiful Hudson Valley, Omega welcomes more than 23,000 people to its workshops, conferences, and retreats in Rhinebeck, New York, and at exceptional locations around the world. eOmega.org

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