In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name
of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the
name of Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of
shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was often called
Amazon Dot Com.
travel so far from town to town with thy goods when thou
canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?
And Abraham did look at her as though she were several
saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, “How,
dear?”
And Dot replied, “I will place drums in all the towns and
drums in between to send messages saying what you have
for sale, and they will reply telling you who hath the best
price. And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery
made by Uriah’s Pony Stable (UPS).”
Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have
her way with the drums. And the drums rang out and were
an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had
at the top price, without ever having to move from his tent.
To prevent neighbouring countries from overhearing what the
drums were saying, Dot devised a system that only she and
the drummers knew. It was known as Must Send Drum Over
Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed a language to
transmit ideas and pictures – Hebrew To The People (HTTP).
And the young men did take to Dot Com’s trading as doth the
greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic
Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS.
the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real
riches were going to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother
William of Gates, who bought off every drum maker in the land.
And indeed did insist on drums to be made that would work only
with Brother Gates’ drumheads and drumsticks.
And Dot did say, “Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being
taken over by others.” And Abraham looked out over the Bay of
Ezekiel, or eBay as it came to be known. He said, “We need a
name that reflects what we are.”
And Dot replied, “Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators.”
“YAHOO,” said Abraham. And because it was Dot’s idea, they
named it YAHOO Dot Com.
Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot’s drums
to locate things around the countryside. It soon became known
as God’s Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE).
That is how it all began. And that’s the truth.
