The passing of one’s spouse is much more than his death and your loss. It’s about you, your acceptance of what was, your adaption to what is, and your re-invention. You have no other choice.
Thus, I begin the photo exhibit with a photo of Andrew and me at a black tie event. This type of event was part of what was. . .as was the dancing that we both loved.
The next step in my journey was MOVE ON WITHOUT ME, the book I wrote upon his passing. Mad as hell at him for passing, mad at the doctor who made the error that resulted in his death – from this to realization of how blessed I had been. . . and memories, which sustain and enhance. My philosophy was get up, get dressed, get out. In other words, live your life as it is now. You can’t go back, only forward. You have only one choice. Woe is me – no – it’s a waste of time and holds you back. Recognizing what was, taking the good with you and transforming the negative to learning experiences. . . as I said in my book, “if I can do it, you can, too.” Move on. . .
Moving on for me meant starting a new business, making friends in the town where Andrew and I had just moved prior to his passing, creating a new life, and accepting that this was a new Susan…
With enhancement from the past. You see me with Monty and his girlfriend at a friend’s Adirondack camp. You, also, see me in Bill Cunningham’s photo going through the International Debutante Ball’s receiving line – I was and am the Co-Chair. Some friendships and linkages have continued. Others have not. It just is. Women fear for their husbands – thank you, no, if the man is married. I am NOT interested! – and fear widowhood, which you now personify.
Overall. . . it’s starting anew with enhancement from what was, as well as education. You learn from your mistakes. Been there and done that. . . and not again!.
My connection with the turtle continues. The turtle represents slow and steady progress, moving forward. It has accompanied me on my journey since I was 4 years old. Like me as a child, my husband had 100s of box turtles and only 1 snapping turtle. After our marriage, we started individually and together to collect decorative turtle items from around the world. I always wear a significant turtle pin. It’s my insignia.
And, now, Turtles & Ravens LLC is the name of the company I established in 2010 to market the art of my business partner, Henry Bismuth. His totem is the raven. I never would have thought even 5 years ago that this would be my next evolution. I took 1 art course in college. My forte was science and business.
You see the photo of Henry and me at Visions West Gallery in Bozeman, MT at the opening of his show there this past June. There is, also, a photo of me with the gallery owner accompanied by she and her husband’s dog. In both photos, the painting adjacent and behind is one of Henry’s.
You, also, see a photo of me on the staircase of my home in Bedford accompanied by Monty. The paintings are Henry’s. The shalwaz kameez I am wearing is a gift from my godchildren’s Mother when she was visiting this July. We still do zikars when she is here. Our friendship and “sisterhood” has never changed.
Is this the end of my story? No! I am writing another book and someday I will meet that special man that I will spend the rest of my life with.
